The Love I Breathe|14- Confine

I chuckled. “You are being obsessive.”

“No, I am not. I am just stating the truth.”

“Now get off I have to call my parents,” I said while pushing him aside. 

“Noo… let’s not leave the bed.” He pouted and Istg it was the cutest pout on that bratty.

I shrugged him aside and plugged out my phone which was now 31%.

Thank God!

I scrolled the phone and dialed my mom’s number. 

“Hello, Yes Meg tell me?”

“Mom, I am actually.. It was raining and I had to leave Nick’s house and then Bryan picked me and now I am with him in his house. My phone’s battery died so I can’t call you.”

“Oh…Its okay Meg I am assured that you are with Bryan. He will take good care of you.”

My stomach knotted on the sentence.

“Mom, what are you saying?” I said tensely.

“Nothing Meg, don’t worry just enjoy yourself and don’t worry if you want to stay at night. We are all agree with whatever decision..”

“MOM Stop it!! What are you saying? You are embarrassing me.”

“Oh dear, Sorry for that. Say Hi to Mr. Bryan from my side. Bye.” with this she disconnected the call leaving me in almost bewilder about who in this earth I was talking a while ago. Is she the same mother who used to put blame of every wrongdoing of her son on my head? Is she the same person who used to diss me every time I become late to go to school, or spend time with my friends? Why is she acting like that? What if Mr. Bryan has said something to her?

I walked into the kitchen with 1000 thoughts and questions and started making pasta for us as it was still freezing out there. I opened the refrigerator and took some veggies out of it and started making pasta. At first I thought it was just my thought but soon I realised a sneaky hand wrapping my waist. 

‘Ah this brat.’ I mumbled in my mind. 

“What are you thinking honey?” He said.

To my surprise I wasn’t angry at him for calling me Honey anymore. More likely I will start to doubt if he stopped calling me that.

“How did we end up here?”


“I mean… this, us, how did this thing turned out like this? I…like just a week ago I don’t even like to see your face and now I am just here with you in this house and sharing kisses. I am not able to understand myself anymore.”

I almost teared up. I was really having such obnoxious thoughts in my mind continuously hitting like what if he thiks I am an easy girl. Cause I am not and it really took me a lot of courage to open in front of someone with taking my heart in my hands. Although I am doing this again.

“Honey, you want to tell me somethig. Or do you want to share me something? I am here for you don’t worry I am not gonna judge you. You know right?” It came out more like a question from his side.

Oh how desperately want to let my heart out. A single tear slipped from my eye as his eye widened and he hugged me back. It felt WARM… so warm. I almost felt like empty myself in that embrace.

So, I let it out. All of it.

“Let it out. Its hurting you for so long. Just let it out Megan, Just let it out on me all.” He said and more tears starts to fall from my eyes. I started crying while clenching on the hem of his shirt.

“Shhh!! Its okay… Its all gone. Please be calm. Its past. Don’t… Don’t cry.” His voice was soothing me in a way. Its almost like he knows all my past and worries. So I finally stopped crying.

My eyes darted red and nose all puffy.

“His name is Shawn. My first love. The reason for which I ever believed inlove. The reason which made me do my first committed relation. The reason which made me trust in god. The reason which made me feel like becoming a caring person.”

Suddenly my gaze changed.

“And the reason which made me lose believe in myself. The reason which made me hate myself. The reason due to which I have trust issues. The reason due to which I fear to fell in love again. The reason for which I become someone I never supposed to be. The reason I don’t know myself anymore. The reason which made me feel introvert all. The reason which made me feel like a pathetic person on the situation where I am not even in the wrong side. The reason I can’t love you.”A tear slipped from my eyes. As I looked at the floor which suddenly looked more interesting or more I should say. I don’t want to look into his eyes thinking how foolish I looked right now? It will not surprise me if he thinks how much of a loser I am.

“So, what did he do?” Bryan said. Still holding me in the same position.

Suddenly a growl appeared from my stomach. Clearly indicating that I am hungry.

“Come On. Let’s eat something first.”

“I made the pasta. You just have to serve it.” I said while sitting on the floor as I don’t have the strength to stand up and do anything. He guessed the situation and stood up, arranged two bowls of pasta and sat next to me. Again holding me in the same position.

He started to feed me. I suddenly stopped his hand. He stopped. I looked at him.

“I was 16 that year. I was not from Perth, you know that right.”

“No, I don’t knew that.”

“Oh…Okk. It can be a possibility. I lived in Houston before moving in Perth. Shawn and I were friends from 4 years. It was all so beautiful. We walked to school together as his home was close to me. We attend the same school and almot each subject is same. We hangout in lunch and It was almost like we were together the whole day. He also walked me to my home each day. We always plan to go shopping each weekends and even if its not shopping we visit many places. We walked, play, talked random things,have fun and sometimes share our doings. It was so perfect until one day,…” I stopped while looking my gaze towards Bryan. 

“I proposed him.

The Love I breathe|13-Perplexity

“Why did you ran away from me, Honey?” I stopped breathing.

“I-I was taking the charger as I h-have to inform that I am with you so that they pick me from here,” I said almost choking on my spit.

“Oh… so you want to leave me now.” His voice almost leaving my contact as a glint of sadness.

“N-No it’s not like that I was just…” I turned towards him to clear out his confusion. He smirked and then he pulled me by my waist and then lift me. Both legs are now wrapping his torso. Our heads collide and the sound of heavy breathing was only echoing in the room.

He opened the room where I changed my dress and then sat on the bed with me on his top. I was straddling him now. He was moving his hands continuously on my back end. My mouth was continuously letting out small whimpering moans as I can’t able to hold them. He was enjoying like he was gulping each of my expression with his eyes.

He suddenly switched our position. My back was now pressing the bed. My cheeks were flushing a tint of red and eyes were glossy with all the moans and touches this person was giving me.

“Do you want more, Honey?” He talked seductively.

I don’t know how to respond that so I just looked in his eyes while biting my lips. He took the hint.

“Keep your hands above your head and don’t put them down unless I told you too.” He commanded. He was completely a different person from what I have known him for. It was like he knows very clearly about what he was doing.

“B.But my phone… Please put that in charge”

He smiled. That looked… genuine.

“Okay.” with that my phone was now getting charged. Then he turned towards to face me.

I put my hands above my head. He stood and removed his shirt and I can see his defined abs.

‘Fuck this UNCLE… forget my words, this guy was hiding this piece of Art from all of us behind those saggy clothes. Gosh!! I never thought about this possibility.’

He leaned over me. My eyes still not leaving him. Whimpers and moans and heavy breaths were continuously leaving my mouth as I can’t able to think about anything right now. Our nose collides and our lips finally touched. It was a mixture of wetness, a gentle press not too rough and not like in a hurry but just enough to call it was perfect. I can feel the kiss. He started to kiss the lower lips first and then he curled his fingers and started sliding them on my sides. I squealed in the tinglish feeling running again in my spine which also made my mouth open and give him enough time to now explore my inside of the mouth.

You just don’t know how to keep your ass all by yourself. You can throw yourself to any guy just like that right !!

‘No No No not now, please not now… I prayed to god as those memories again.’ I was kissing this man while he was on top of me and most of all I am enjoying his touches but why on this earth I am thinking about him now.

He broke the kiss and looked at me as I stopped kissing him back.

“Is this not enough?” He asked almost making me shy like who on this earth doesn’t go to like that.

“I- I am sorry I didn’t mean to offend you,” I said almost submissively.

“Hmm… you are thinking about that Jack isn’t you. He seriously has the guts for touching what’s mine?”

My eyes widened on his sentence. ‘Did he just said MINE? But why? I am not… fuck this I don’t even know anymore.”

“I-I when did this happened?”

He raised an eyebrow while I was looking down as I don’t know if I looked into his eyes this time I sure am going to lose my senses. He grabbed my hand which was on top of my head, [I don’t even know how I can’t able to put them down.] He put my hands on his neck.

“Touch me…”

I didn’t see that coming but I wanted too.

I crossed my hands around his neck. He gestured me to go further. I let my hands slid through his arms caressing each detail.

He closed his eyes as he feels pleasured by my touch. My hands trace his chest, his abs and I almost felt the hard muscles clenching on my every touch. It very pleasurable to even see him in a state like this when I was controlling his body by mere touches. He was right seeing something like this is amusing.

He leaned down towards my legs and lift my legs and throw them over his shoulders and then he started leaning towards me such that my legs were started parting more than they usually did.

I gasped at his sudden gesture.

‘Is this is the end? Am I going to lose my virginity today write now on this bed with this person what about the promises I made with myself on the day that I thought it was only going to be with the husband I was devastated loI don’t know anymore I am just going to let this person do what he wants to do to me?’

‘No, I don’t want to give up on my virginity this easily.’ I quickly covered my part with hands although I am still wearing the joggers. I still felt so open.

“Is this your first-time honey?” Should I feel embarrassed about this?

“Umm… If I say yes, then what are you going to do?” I was still flustered about the position and then the question. It was all happening too fast.

“To be honest, I don’t mind even if you are not and somehow I am feeling lucky that I am gonna be your first for this.” He said while a frown formed in my eyebrows.

“I want to do it with a person who will be with me until the last day of my life. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to do it with you… It’s just that… It’s just that…” My words stopped not able to connect what to say.

“Are you afraid about what others say about us? I mean look at our age-gap. It’s a bit big for people to accept.” He said.

“Mr. Bryan,“ I said with a calming voice. “I never thought about it and to be honest I never thought about what others would think before I even kissed you. I indeed think more than just a usual person but that was never about what others would think about me. It was always about my internal debate, my internal conflicts. Even right now, I am debating about if I should give in to you or not. Not because of our age but if I can trust you with this. Or maybe I don’t make you think like I am an easy girl. Its never about people.” I paused and wait for his reply.

“You never fail to impress me, honey,” He said this with a smirk and he put my legs down slowly on the bed. And leaned beside me started caressing my hairs.

His touch was so gentle. He turned his gaze towards me and it softens as he gently pecks on my nose. I again turned red.

“You are cute.”

“You are cheesy.”

“No, I am not.”

“No, you are. Who kiss on Nose?”

“Your nose looks cute.”

“Well, you know you said that M-MINE!!! Do you mean it?”

“Ofc I mean it. Do I have to prove it to you?”

“Is there a way to prove it?”

He hovered over me. I swear I feel so small whenever he does this to me. He unbuttoned the shirt I was wearing that time and he slid it down so that now my collarbone was visible to him. He looked at me one last time before kissing that area and at a certain part, I felt a moan leaving my mouth. He found that. He smirked and then sucked that area. 
At first, I found it weird. But then I felt pain the feeling of his lips on that area making me breath heavier and I almost forgot breath.

His teeth were started digging into my flesh It was like a vampire digging his fangs to drank my blood.[ooff…my fantasies.]

I let out a small scream as the pain was getting bigger. He pulled out and I felt my mouth open for air. I saw his lips as a drop of blood was dripping from the corner of his lips.

‘Just forget, when I said he wasn’t rough‘

I touched my bruised skin and found a liquid dripping.

“Its called putting a mark and we only do it to those whom we don’t want to be others or always want to be with us.”

“And why are you so sure about it Mr. Bryan.?”

“I am not sure, but I am confident.”

“My mom will kill you,” I said almost making him scared of his words. But as being bratty and almighty.

“Then I have to let the whole world know that you are mine so that they don’t leave with a choice.”

The Love I Breathe|12- Spots

[Listen to the song while reading this chapter]

15mins later.

The same Black Ford appears and stops in front of me. The glass slid down and he looked at me while shifting his glasses. “Care to sit inside. My time is running.”

The dialogue from Alice in the Wonderland wow… How bad this person can make me feel? I walked and opened the car door but as per my expectations, it was locked. I put my hands on my waist to show him that I was annoyed. He smirked at me, I sometimes think what amused him that time, my annoyed face or seeing me drenched in rain. When I started knocking the window he opened the door from inside. I sat inside, fortunately, it was hot inside the car I guess he turned the heater on, while he was on his way. I put on my seat belt while he started driving. I looked at the mirror and saw that my clothes are wet but I am not soaked, But I was shaking by cold and It is Perth we are talking about. How could the rain spare my poor soul?

After 20 mins of driving, we finally reached his home. Surprisingly he was quiet in the whole ride. I was not used to himself like this but I wanted to talk as little as possible.

His house was not like all those mansions but it was more like the type which you can say ‘HOME’ after you come from a very shitty day. “White furnished tiles and a perfect length cut grass with a garage and the color of the house was very welcoming no lights and fountains like other mansions but just a lantern in the outside and a small balcony in which one can sip a peaceful cup of coffee at a very adorable morning and talk to your loved one while gazing stars out there. There were two chairs on the outside of the balcony with red and blue pillows seeing them I assumed that there is someone else live with him. Well, maybe his wife…

‘This thought disappointed me kinda and I honestly don’t know why?’ anyways I walked inside his room. To be honest I was surprised kinda watching a house looking that clean. I was even started to wonder how her wife would be like, I mean yeah…

“What are you looking at Honey?”

There he goes again, calling me honey. Did he lose all his shame? I mean what his wife [which was still exist as my imagination] would think if she listened…

“Hmm, nice house,” I said while looking at any place to place my wet shoes.

He sensed my gesture and show me the shoe rack. I thanked him. And after that, he walked inside his room and came out with a towel.

“Dry yourself with this.”

“Umm… well, do you have some clothes so that I can change until these clothes get dry.” I asked in more like a pleading way so that he gets the idea that It’s fucking freezing me wearing these wet clothes for past 1hr and I don’t like the way these clothes are soaking to my body.

“Oh okk!! Just wait I will get you some clothes.” He said and ran inside his room to get some clothes.
I started from drying my hairs and within less than a minute Bryan was there with one of his check blue shirts and grey joggers.

“These are clean and comfortable too.” He said while handing me the clothes. I raised an eyebrow.

‘Did he just said that I am going to wear his clothes? What the fuck? Did this man have no conscience about how can he give me his clothes when he is married? Or I guess, maybe he wants to wear the same clothes which I just wore. I mean you know those perverts who have these weird fetishes of smelling other girl clothes… Ewww!!! Why am I even thinking this way? But what if he was a person like this.

“Why are you looking at me with an expression like this? See if this was because of the clothes than I am sorry I don’t have any other clothes. It’s not like I have a sister or wife so I can give you her clothes. So please bear with it for a little while.” He said almost in a faint way making me feel like cursing this person but what surprised me more than the virtual wife about whom I was imagining all this time did not exist in the real world. I mean wtf!!

“He is not married.” I quickly covered my mouth when I realized that I spoke my thoughts out loud and he listened.

“Yes, I am not. Is there any problem with that Honey?” He asked while walking toward me.

“N-No it’s not. It’s just you are a little old to be a bachelor.” I said while being nervous cause all he was doing is coming forward and I was moving backward and ‘oh shit why there has to be a table?’ All of a sudden my back hit the table and I dropped the clothes in my arm and both my hands crossed in front of my chest protectively.

" I said while being nervous cause all he was doing is coming forward and I was moving backward and 'oh shit why there has to be a table?' All of a sudden my back hit the table and I dropped the clothes in my arm and both my hands crossed in front...

His face was just inches away from me. I gulped and then pursed my lips. He caged me b/w his arms and still fixed his gaze on me. I was internally screaming and my face was burning hot red. I can’t even think that I’ll be able to keep my gaze straight anymore.

“Do I still look old to you?” He said while maintaining the position b/w us his breath was fanning near my upper lips and my eyes never leaving his eyes. My eyes were all glossy by the too-long eye-contact. He tilted his face and move towards my earlobes, his breath still fanning every inch of my face.

By his every move my breath was getting higher and higher and I am turning into a tinting shade of red. But the thing which made me wonder is why I am not pushing him? Do I seriously want this? Am I that desperate for love after Shawn.

‘To be honest, I don’t know anymore.’ he suddenly bit my earlobe and a soft moan breathed out of my mouth. It was not loud but I still feel that he heard that and he let out a small smirk causing him to continue what he was doing.

 It was not loud but I still feel that he heard that and he let out a small smirk causing him to continue what he was doing

“Did you like that honey?”He whispered in my earlobe while his breath still fanning in my ears. I thought for a second that I forgot that there is an existence of my voice.

I was about to open my mouth he suddenly grabbed me by my waist and put me on the table in a position that he is now standing b/w my legs. I gasped by his sudden action as my eyes widened.

‘I swear I never thought that THAT UNCLE will intimidate me to this point that I almost lose all control.’ He pulled me closer by my waist. My hands which were on the side, it’s like a sudden sexually frustrated ghost came over me and I put my hands on his shoulders pulling him towards my side for more. He smirked with his oh-so-hot voice.

My hands reached towards his shirt and I started unbuttoning the piece of fabric which was still keeping us aside from connecting. His hand roamed around my waist and continuously made its way upwards and then he slid his hands inside my shirt. I felt a tingle run through my spine as I just thought I was about to give up on my legs and support. A loud moan just shrieked out of my mouth.

[It was this moment when I know I fucked up.] He raised his eyebrow and looked at me with an expression which was saying clearly,’ What did that just happen right now?’

I removed my hands over his shoulders and covered my mouth in realization. ‘What just happened right now? Why I shivered when he touched there? Why I just looked so desperate?’ Thousands of questions just ran through my head and I shifted my gaze towards Bryan who was stopped doing whatever he was doing that made me squeal out the loudest moan of my life. Almost like a scream.

“Honey, don’t tell me you have your weak spot in your waist area?” It came out more like a question for me too as I also don’t know about that too.

“I-I don’t know about that. I nev-never felt like this before?” Now, why on this earth I am stuttering.

“If that’s the case, Do you mind if I help you find more? It is really fun to see you whimpering like this by the way.” He smiled while tracing his hands over one of my arms.

“I-I d-don’t think w-we sh-should be mmm… doing this Mr. Bryan” my voice almost giving up. Practically, I was begging him to stop cause I was literally on my edge of giving up and the most frustrating thing was that I was liking it kinda…

[Don’t judge me but weak spots make you feel that. If you experienced that before.]

He detected the confusion in my eyes and he pecked my nose. My cheeked flushed red, cause it was a first and second it was so cute!!

“Why did you did that?” I asked almost like thin air gulping my voice. He didn’t respond instead he pecked my left cheek. Istg my face was probably beet red by now.

“Why are you…hmm?” He cut my voice by pecking on my lips gently. I widened my eyes.

‘What in the earth just happened?’

I pushed him with all the force I had left and grab the fallen clothes and ran in the nearest room

I pushed him with all the force I had left and grab the fallen clothes and ran in the nearest room. I can hear the footsteps coming inside. But I was fast and locked the door before he comes. I hold my breath and heard that the footsteps also stopped. My hands were right now on my heart which was beating so furiously that I have to close my eyes to calm myself down. I was sweating hard. So funny right? It was a moment ago I was freezing and now my whole body is like on fire. I checked out of the room.

A rectangular bed having white sheets and a brown duvet and neatly covering the whole edges. Two wooden tables on the side of the room, A 12inch screen mini LED tv pinned on the wall, A wide window with brown curtains on side and white lacey curtains allowing the cold wind to enter in the room. A switchboard near the bed reminding me that I have a phone and It needs to be charged. But it’s not important than me facing a socially awkward atmosphere created outside right now.

There was painting right above the bed. I stood up balancing my wobbling legs and jump on the bed to take a closer look at the painting. It was like those of modern art type. White and red diagonal shaped lines. And there are eyes and lips broken.

I like observing the art but I suddenly woke up from my delusional world.

I quickly wiped myself and changed myself into the shirt and the oversized grey joggers. I waited for a while inside the room. But soon I gave up the thought cause the thought that my mom probably dialing every fucking number in her diary just for asking about my existence gives me chills.

So, I decided to inform her first. Although I know they don’t care much but I still have to inform them.

I opened the room to find that there was absolutely no one. I thought this as my chance and I run towards my bag and came inside the room within a fraction of second. This scene was almost like I am hiding from a terrorist in my own house. Although the case was a little different.

I opened my bag and took out my mobile. Mobile was safe, thanks to the waterproof bags. Thanks to the inventor of waterproof things. Although I never gave a fuck about your existence I am thankful to you today cause you just saved my phone.


I opened the phone 2% battery, wow can something be good than this.

I walked towards the switchboard only to find that I need a charger too. Shit, I have to look for the charger too. I came outside of the room again. But this time a little more relaxed as I know he was not going to be there but oh- how I was wrong.

I walked towards the table, and then refrigerator only to found the charger on a green bowl. The moment I found the charger my cheek rose in a smile as a baby got her toy. But oh how wrong I was to think that. I didn’t realize as a voice whispered near my ears making me all stop from where I was.

“Why did you ran away from me, Honey?” and I stopped breathing.

Well, I am not calling it Smut. Cause it’s more like foreplay. But I think I am good at writing that. I am praising myself cause probably no one is doing that right now. I hope in the future when more readers were out there reading this shitty book they will understand the pain.

hahaha enough for the bluff. I am on super rocket for writing this book. Although there might be the case that this book exceeds over 10 chapters but don’t worry it will maybe exceed 4-5 chapters mostly.

Until then, let’s meet in the next chapter.

The Love I Breathe|11- Literature and Figure


I packed my bag finally and checked myself in the mirror the last time.

“It’s not looking obvious right?”

I picked up my phone and stuffed my ears with plugs and sat down at the table. Within 2min I drank my milk, grabbed the toast, and stuffed it in my mouth leaving the thought that my mouth is covering with crumbles. I reached the door and wore my college shoes and left for school chewing the piece of bread. Neglecting the goodbyes given by my dear unbothered family.

“Why can’t they just abandon me? It’s not like I can’t survive on my own.” I mumbled words while walking towards the road.


I opened the classroom door and went back to my seat. Earplugs still stuffed in my ears. I sensed that someone is patting on my shoulder. I turned my head and saw Ash on the side. I removed my earplugs and straighten myself to listen to what he wanted to say.

” Hii Meg, How are you? Its been a week we talked.”

“Ahh… Is that so? Sorry I didn’t think about it that much.”

“Hmm… its okay, Hey what’s with the bruise in your lips?” My eyes got wide and I quickly covered the area with my hands.

“Megan, are you okay? Did someone hurt you or touched you in a wrong way? Just tell me the fucking name. I will make sure that the person will remember…” He said almost loud enough that almost the whole class is now facing us.


“Just Calm the fucking down” I almost screaked.

“Its just the allergic reaction of a medicine,” I said while I noticed that some gazes finally being turned away after listening to my explanation But some are still staring at me.

“And stop making chaos of things like this. I am human it is natural for me to get bruises.” I replied to him while looking down. Deep down only and only I know the story behind this bruise.

Mr. Timothy entered the class as everyone sits down and soon he started taking attendance. He started discussing his new lecture it was on The most beautiful paintings in history.” “The same lecture delivered in Cambridge university as seeing the interest of their students towards the arts. I don’t know how many of you are interested in art and culture but some points were surely discussed from that lecture.” He then started talking about how there is nothing that can be written in more imaginative and creative than art.

He then started talking about how literature is a personnel nature than the art.

“Two persons cannot be the authors of the sound striking our ears as they cannot be the speaking one and same speech, similarly in writing and Arts, no two speeches can be the same. This thought surely created a fight b/w science and literature but although the conclusion is pretty much on the behalf of literature and Arts cause the creative and imaginative mind works in a completely different world. But due to the universal facts and figures of science the debate reached at the end of science cold conclusions.”

“It means just because someone is practically sounding correct we avoid the emotions related to that situation ?” Someone from the class questioned. It was a guy named Jason Flynn.

“Its impossible to win over science cause it always works on facts and figures something which is beyond the play of emotions you can also say it like how the judge in a court only gives his judgments based on facts, not the emotions involving in it.”

“What if someone killed a person but the suspect turns out to be having the phobia of something that made him trigger and do the murder. As per science, it was a crime and they just punished him without investigating what made him fight over his phobia to do such a crime.” another guy Maverick said.

“Hmm… I am happy that you guys are coming up with ideas. It’s good to see people thinking about situations. Well, as per your example the suspect is still going to get punished even if we see it from the literature pov. Cause he did crime by killing a person which is also a heinous act. But yeah it is also true that rather than talking about facts the suspect was sure going to be asked about why did he commit the crime, whereas sometimes Science neglect these things.”

The lecture was went-ing smoothly until Ash spoke, ” Sir as per you if someone got a bruise at her lip but she was hiding it saying that it was because of allergy from the medicine. Then what conclusion come out of science and literature.”

I immediately froze on my seat. I mean why on this earth my bruise is bugging this THUG. For god sake can’t you learned to stay seated on your class and just let the storm out.

“Ash I want to know who are you talking about? and then I will tell you the answer,” he asked while his gaze slowly turning towards me. I am currently earning a death glare from him and I can’t even lift my face. But I guess the whole class got the idea that this topic was about me.

“Sir, I am just talking about a friend of mine.” He stated in his Oh so ever generous voice which I wanted to cut off from his throat before he whispers a single another word from his mouth.

“Well, in that case…” He started taking small steps toward my desk and stood almost facing his back in front of my seat such that his silhouette was hiding me completely while he was facing other students.

I was in the same position throughout the time. The only difference was that my heart rate exceeded the limit of his beatings and my ears were slowly turning red.

“Well then as per science she must get the bruise from medicine but as per literature being imaginative and creative, she might have ended up kissed by someone so passionately that she forgot to take breathing until she remembered that her lips were bleeding.”

“Well that was certainly creative right,” He smirked after his last sentence.

“That was kinky sir,” Sarah replied after listening to Mr. Bryan.

“I know right, ” Bryan winked at her and walked towards his table packing his stuff walking away leaving questionable gazes now facing me again.

He is seriously fun dealing with EXHIBITIONISM I doubt… I put my head down and stuffed my ears with plugs and kept the sound louder than last time and started recalling the thoughts of that day.


“I… well fuck that” He wrapped his arm around my waist and putting another hand near my neck. And suddenly everything went blank…

Of course, because I pushed him away and started yelling at him for touching me without my permission. [Yeah!! Jack didn’t kiss him that day]

“Who in this earth gave you the damn permission to touch me like this?”

“But, Megan I thought you wanted this too.”

Yes, I wanted that I wanted to kick his balls while he tried to do something inside his room but this dick can’t able to control his dick.

“And when did I said that I wanted it? I never said that Jack what were you thinking about like this whole time?”

“Hey, Meg you are being too much, don’t shout at me like that, It’s not like you don’t want it okay, So stop being so hard to get and just give in”

At first, I was thinking of just leaving the whole thing and carry on the play but he crossed his limit. This asshole needs to be remembered about his position. I slapped him and left his home without greeting goodbyes to Ms. Roy and Nick.

I walked away from the mansion stomping my steps as I came out of the house and almost in the middle of the road suddenly it started raining. Reality hits me when I realized that I didn’t carry my umbrella. But I was too angry and furious to think about that.

I walked in the road seeking shelter, but there was nothing except the walls. After walking a little further I saw a shop having a shaded area. Thanks to god my bag was waterproof so my phone was safe. But I was not. So I tried to call someone from my house, and as per my expectation no-one picked up the call.

I scrolled and then a number hit my sense, Mr. Bratty I guess I have left with no choice. I dialed his number and he picked up.


“Umm… Hii I am Megan”

“Ohh… okk, so how was your date?”

This asshead!!

“Can you please pick me up? I am in front of XX street and no one is picking my calls from home.”

“Okk, But why did you call me honey? You could’ve called anyone of your friends but you choose me… hmm… Is this a green signal?”

I am getting seriously pissed and this crackhead can’t seem to stop his shitty jokes.

“Just come and pick me up before I started to regret my decision of calling you”

“I am… huh… you are seriously good at spoiling the mood.” He sighed.

“Thanks, I will take this as a compliment.” with this I disconnected the call.

Hmm…So things are finally getting a bit spicier. Megan is going to spend the time with Bryan. Finally… I can hear you screaming you know. But this book still holds plenty of twists. So let’s keep cheering them. Until your evil author does something.😈😈😈

And for the quotes. I am sorry as I didn’t put them in the last two chapters as I was so engulfed in writing them. I will treat you with them today…:)

hahaha so true

hahaha so true…

It’s true though!! If you love someone you have to set them free.

Meet you in the next chapter. Bye Bye.

The Love I breathe|10- Invitation


It was a rainy day just like my mood and hart. The memories of last night kept swirling in my mind. But somehow I wasn’t having it. So I decided to take a hot bubble bath before going to Jack’s house. In the meantime, I thought about 1000 possibilities that are going to be-come up when I am going to meet that Jackass.

I somehow relaxed in the bathtub and gave myself a shoulder massage. 

After I am done with the shower I decided to wear my blue hoodie and navy blue denim with white snickers. I looked in the mirror then my phone rang. I picked up.


“Hii, Megan are you the one who’s talking?” a crispy voice called over the other side of the phone and it didn’t take me long to recognize the voice.

“Jack… is that you?” I tried to sound a little excited so I answered with a raspy voice.

“Oh my!! You recognized my voice Meg I am telling you we are a match made in heaven. We are not bound to be separate from each other. Meg, when are you going to come home?” he asked me almost hoping a yes from me.
Bitch, you don’t even know who you are giving an invitation. I evilly smirked. 

“This is going to be fun,” I said to particularly no one. I made a side braid of my hair and then grabbed my side bag and umbrella.

“It’s going to be late so don’t worry too much I will come back around 10 PM so don’t be crazy calling all neighborhood and my friends,” I said to mom while wearing my white reebok snickers.

“Hmm, Are you going to a date with that car guy from last night ?” She said with a little teasing tone. I rolled my eyes, “ He is my teacher for god sake… Please stop thinking that way about him and more like I don’t see him like that and most importantly I am not going to meet him I am going to some other place.”

“There is this kid in my school he needs tutoring so I am going to teach him,” I told her.
“ Ohh my !! when did you become so mature. Are you going to leave this house? Did you finally decide to start live independently? Babe, I am here for you always don’t think about living all by yourself. You are not even in university, Ohh my you should’ve told me that you want to live by yourself. I might discuss it with you…”

“Mom STOP!!! I am not living this early and I just am going to help that kid to study and help in his grades you don’t need to think that far. I am not taking any money from them for helping that poor kid.  Besides, there is more important work to handle than that.” I held the doorknob.
“Stop overthinking, I know you all wanted to live by your son but I am still unemployed so give me time, I will soon make your wish come true and leave this place.” I opened the door and closed it with a thud leaving an astonished mother and a house filling with the scream of my names.


I pressed the bell and soon a servant with a white shirt and black trousers opened the door. I thought he was going to ask me about my intro but I guess Jack already did the work for my behalf. I entered the house and met with a wide smile of Mrs. Roy. 

“Ohh my dear, look who’s here Meg,  dear how are you?, You came here in that rain baby what if something happened to you. Or you get sick. Henry, Go make a hot cup of coffee fast.” She held my hand and we sat on the couch.

“Tell me, Meg, why did you come here in this weather?” I opened my mouth to reply to her question until another voice interrupted her.

“I called her, Mom” there he comes to the Jackass wagging his tail in front of me and with that poker face. My blood boils every time he is near me but I had to be patient until this piece begs in front of Nick to forgive him. 

“Hii Megan, I guess you don’t find difficulty in finding my home.” 

“No, It’s alright. I just got a little wet while walking in the rain.” I pointed towards my folded jeans.

“Baby, I am sorry you have to come like this.” Mrs. Roy told me concern lining his way to her face.

“No Mom, It’s fine I am used to this kind of weather. I lived in Houston for 3 years before Perth, So I kinda used to this rain thing.” I told her assuringly.

“If you say so, Oh look the coffee came, Now sit and drink it before other things.” I smiled by her kind nature its kind of warm. I feel more relaxed now. I drank the coffee while talking with Mrs. Roy. She continued her talk about Nick and Jack. I wondered why I never saw Mr. Roy I wanted to ask her but while thinking about the time I spent with her I decided to not ask about it. I finished my coffee and then she started talking about nick. I took the opportunity to ask about him.

“ Mam, Where is nick? I didn’t see him. It’s not school today, he must be home right?” I asked while wondering my eyes roaming around the house.

“He is with Olivia, His caretaker.” I hummed in response and then she called another servant to call Nick and Olivia.

“Jack told me earlier about your interest in teaching kids, I am very happy as I know that you are going to handle him from now on.” I smiled assuringly.

“ Don’t worry mam I will take his proper care and help him with all his problems,” I told her trying to show her that I mean every word I am saying to her right now. 

“I trust you, Megan, with this. But you know Nick was never like this always, He was always such a sweet playful child. He was always played with the whole family and his sweet voices still echo in my ears, I wonder what happened? He was close to his father the most. But ever soon his father transferred to another country for his work purpose. He kept being distant with us. He starts eating less, talking less and I barely see him play with his toys anymore. He also starts lacking in his studies and more likely he isn’t the one he used to be.” She started tearing after saying her voice also got shaky while talking about her son. It was pretty obvious that she can’t able to see his son abnormal change in behavior. 

“He started taking a bath on his own and also his dressing sense is changed. He wears more shaggy and dull-colored clothes now, He never liked those shades before. God knows what must’ve been in the mind of my son? ”

“I am sorry mam for the pain you are feeling now but trust me everything will be fine soon.” I glanced at Jack who was fiddling with his fingers while we were talking about his brother. 

“What happened Jack?” I asked him almost shaking him out of his fidgeting world.

“Ahh… You must be thinking about the things which led your brother to this state? Where did things go wrong? What would’ve you done that things turn out like this for him?” I said in the most innocent tone holding concern but yet in a way I put my words so that he got the hint.

His breath hitched a little. But he rubbed his chin and scrunched his eyebrows showing that he was also pitying his brother’s state.

“Miss, you were calling me?” A familiar voice ringed in my ears. This voice… I heard this before.

“Yes, Olivia, Where is Nick? Oh, there you are, my little baby.” I turned my head to face Nick just so that I can earn his glance and make him aware that I kept my promise. But as far as my concern, He didn’t even look at me cause he never lifted his head this whole time. 

“ Nick, look who came, your new teacher,” Mrs. Roy told her and he nodded still not lifting his head.

“Won’t you say hello to your new teacher?” 


“Introduce yourself, Nick.” She asked as her tone becoming shaky by seeing her son like that. I patted her hand and then bent on my knees to match the level of eyes of Nick. At first, he was scared but as soon as he heard my voice. He lifted his head now meeting my eyes. His eyes widen but I clenched his hands enough to show him that we still have to play our act. 

“Hii Nick, I came here to teach you from now on. My name is Megan Richard. Nice to meet you.”

“H..hello I am Nic…Nicholas Roy, It’s nice to you too miss.” He finally spoke. His mother smiled as seeing his son trying to communicate. I gave him a sweet hug and whispered in his ear.

“Angel kept her promise.” He smiled a little suppressing his giggle. I broke my 5-sec hug from that little kid. And sat on the couch making Nick sat beside me. Jack was eyeing us but to be honest, I really don’t want to stare at him but due to my plan, I have to share my attention.

“Hey Jack, you didn’t tell me why you called me here yet, Is it only about your little brother? I thought you wanted to spend… Uhmm sorry, what was I even saying? I am sorry Mrs. Roy,” I said while showing that I am embarrassed by my own words.

Jack somehow caught the hint and told her mother that he remembered the work he wanted to complete with me and with that he took me upstairs with him. He stopped and we both stood up in front of a white door which I am guessing was Jack’s room. But the thing is why we are stopped?

He turned his head on my side. He looked at my lips and then looked into my eyes. I was just praying to God to stop my hand from slapping away his perverted gaze. Can’t he be a little less obvious?

“What are you thinking?” I almost said breaking the silent glass piling up b/w us. 

He sighed. “You really don’t know what am I thinking? I mean you can’t be that unacquainted.” 

“Is there something I need to know?”

“I… well fuck that” He wrapped his arm around my waist and putting another hand near my neck. And suddenly everything went blank…





(Any Suggestion of what would happen next?)

The Love I breathe|9- Apology

He walked slowly towards me and bent down. He patted my head just like an owner does to their sick pet. He gently stroked my back and lift me up from my position. He opened the door and gently gesture me to sit. After that, he put my seatbelt and closed the door. He walked towards his seat and locked the door in case I start to panic again.

After a while, city lights and car horns started to enter the scene.

“I am sorry.” He said.

No response…     

“I should have asked you first before making assumptions. I just got carried away. I myself don’t know but I just got too angry all of a sudden.”

No response…

“I know you are hurt and horrified. But trust me I never meant to…”

Again no response…

“Actually, It’s my fault I never should’ve dragged you in something like this. This is something I supposed to handle on my own. So, you don’t have to go or do any task from now on”

“I promised…”

“What… to that jerk. Are you still thinking about Jack?”

“Nick… I promised Nick that I will be back there to save him.”

“Nick, when did you talk to him ever…” His eyes went wide. “Oh, so you were talking to Nick while saying that you were in the bathroom while we were in the hall. Good, but how did you find his room?”

“We were together in the bathroom the whole time.”

“What!! You were in the bathroom with that kid this whole time.” His voice again started to get deep.

“Jack was about to beat him with a bamboo stick and he was so scared. We just happened to cross path while he was running from him and he bumped into me. I took him inside the bathroom ”

“His brother was beating him with a bamboo stick but why?”

“I don’t know but Jack was saying that he was interfering in his business. Which I honestly don’t know to be this important that he even choked that poor kid.”

“Choked…? Do you saw any bruise in his body?” He asked with a serious face.

“ His whole body and arms are covered in bruises except his palms and face.”

“Ohh my… that kid why didn’t you tell me about this earlier?”

No response… Of course, how could he think that I am able to tell him when he acting all crazy, driving at a speed of 150, stopping the car in front of a dark road and almost about to call me a slut.

He stopped talking after that for which I guess he also understood my silent response.

We stopped in front of my house.

“I am sorry again for all those words. I didn’t mean any of them I swear. Just rest and sleep and let’s discuss this tomorrow.”

I only gave a nod.

“Bye.” He said while sitting inside the car. I nodded and went back to my house ringing the bell. So that someone opens the door cause in all that situation the only thing which I personally wanted to do was to just stay in some privacy.

I listened to the sound of the car leaving at the same time when the door of my home opened.

“Oh honey, you came back. Oh my god, just look at you how beautiful you are looking.” My mom squealed me into a hug.

“Not now, Mom I am very tired and all I just want a little rest. Don’t worry about the food I already ate a hamburger with Bryan and also don’t come to my room as I have to sleep and I am not going to open the door so please.” I rapped all the words and with a single moment of a spree, I went towards my room and locked myself. 

I throw myself in the already cleaned bed. ‘Thanks, Mom.’ For the first time. I just wanted everything to just shut down or left hollow.

I checked my phone one last time and adjust the alarm before putting it into charging. [Don’t do this at home.]

With this, I went to a long and deep sleep.

Story of My Unknown Frustration Part-5

There is always a limit to everything. Which is basically known as the last limit of tolerance. When one can actually want to burst out of his self conscious. It is the point when someone wants to drop all the levels of serenity he or she is holding. Something like that happened to me today. I was on the verge of a hindrance. I never allow someone to break my tolerance level let alone my limits are far from his reach but then there surely exist some people who just don’t know the definition if someone just wanted to kill you and saying things out of patience. Its almost like many times I told him to not cross his limits. I always try to remain the calm and all understandable person every time. I just had enough. You know every time you do something bad to me I always remember that and make sure to add a coin to my virtual jar. And there is always a tolerance up to which I handle and when it is crossed. I just see all is just red and blood and flesh and I just want to set everything on fire. It was a pleasant afternoon until you know that person came again in front of me. I just hate seeing his face now. I want to smash his head on the wall multiple times until all his veins pop out of his head. 

I was simply doing my work and was focused so he didn’t come then. I closed my laptop and then reached to the couch to finally let my tired eyes a peaceful sleep. Somewhere in my heart, I knew that it is not going to be peaceful but more like bloody noon. Hmm… Bloody Noon, sounds interesting.

He came again and started saying all those insulting words to me again.

“You know you are just some low-class mentality people, uneducated, you are just resting all day in my house and not doing any work and just braking the bed, you useless piece of shit. People like you are shameless who only like to eat on others thrown. You and your family all are the same piece of shit they all deserve to rot. They don’t have a shame you are living in my house and you are acting all innocent I know how ridiculous you are. Just sitting in front of the laptop all day and not doing any work.” 

All of his words are like spitting venom on me. I chose to be quiet in the past for these miseries. I choose to live a peaceful life as I know to live like that is much easier than that of answering all the piece of shits all day. I always believed that they all are going to be stopped. One day each bad word and wrong puttings on me are going to be in an end and finally maybe finally I will be live freely like I always believed when my mom said,” baby you know you can’t stop everyone’s mouth so from now on make your mouth shut. Just start engaging yourself in books and make them your best friends. I bet you’ll be happier in the future.”

I am sorry Maa. I tried hard to not get affected even I was still silent when all he was saying is about me. But he starts talking bullshits about you too. How can I make him live happily after all he did. I am sorry I am breaking my promise of being quiet and observing everything silently.

It was noontime and there was no one beside him and I was in the house. I walked towards him I had my key chain in my right hand entangled in my middle finger. I looked at him repeating all the hateful things he said to my mom and dad and suddenly my hands moved on making a fist and I punched right in his nose making his nose bleed and break his lateral cartilage break making him squeak in pain. He was covering his nose and then he starts yelling and he pushed me making me fall and then he started to pick the knife and he jumped to throw that on me. I was fast and moved my head. I grabbed the goddess statue which was so heavy almost 1.5kg and smashed directly to his head with so much strength that he almost passed out. I sighed my breath and checked if he was breathing or not. Cause if he was not breathing then there is no point in having fun. I want to see him beg for his life and this one is a hell of a big mouth he even dares to attack me. I will make sure to use the law of self-defense on him. If you don’t know then let me explain it to you in this way.

The penal law in India provides to every individual governed by the laws in India a right to self-defense i.e. A right to defend one’s self against any attack by another. However,  what is of prime importance is that the force used in self-defense must be proportional to the intensity of the attack.

Eg.  A attacks B with a knife with an intention to kill him. B,  while defending himself kills A to save himself. B has exercised the right to self-defense.

Eg. A pushes B and slaps him several times. B hits back and injures A. B exercised the right to self-defense.

So I am fully allowed to kill him under the law. Now let’s get on the business. First of all, I made him set on a table and got a silk ribbon and tied his hands., Those sinful hands which dare to touch me. Those neck from where those sinful words he dare to say to my parents. You know what even if there is no law. I will still kill him cause he doesn’t deserve to live like there is no chance of him to breathe in this world. He is just my pawn for fun even if it is for merely 2-3 hours I will make sure to give him the most peaceful death cause after all those blabberings. I don’t want him to be alive at all. And for more information, I am kinda thirsty for his blood. I really want to drink his blood or bath in his blood and eat his flesh roasting it in the oven. I want to eat his legs and chop his toes into small meatballs and eat them with ramyeon. I want to stab him until his last scream. I want to smash his head in the wall until It turns into a pulp. I want to write an apology letter by him while cutting his tongue and fed them to sea urchins.

He slowly opened his eyes and I snapped out of my dreadful beauty dream. I saw him and I had a stone in my hand with its all edges rough you can normally find this kind of stone in any of the brick stores.

I went to him and saw his face for the first time I saw fear in those eyes the fear about the things going to happen. The fear of known. The fear of death, The scream of independence, the eyes begging to have mercy on him. 

I tossed the broken brick in both hands.

“So uncle, I am uneducated right…”


“I am a shameless piece of shit who only knows to feed herself on others thrown things.”

“No.. No..Nooo…. ”

“My family and especially my parents are all low mentality right?” I said while looking at him with my dark blank cold eyes which currently holds no emotion in them. Just one thing all I could see and that is RED.

“NO NO NO NO NOOOO…. I didn’t mean any of that I am really sorry.”

“Too late to except. You know na uncle this is not the first time you said those venomous words to me. You always said those words to me. But I listened to them all normally silently like a good girl I am. But today you made a mistake. A BIG ONE… you said those petty words to my parents How come I leave you with your breathing. I am starting to hate the way you are breathing right now.”

He saw that this is not going to work. He again started saying all those venomous words to me again.

“You piece of puny shit. If you have the guts than make me out of this chair and then I will show you where your place is. I am the ruler of this house. The day you live under me you have to obey me and listen to every fucking thing I say to you. You have to bear with all the insults I am going to say to you. You heard you piece of a shitty bitch. You and your family know where your place is… Make me out of this chair I SAID… I will KILL YOU THE MOMENT I AM out of this chair…”

“You know uncle I think you really losted your sanity. Cause if you were in your sane mind while seeing my hand with a heavy brick I must say you never say something so blatantly. I guess you really want to die and then again I was thinking about smacking your head with this stone only 4 times. But now I will continue TO SMASH YOUR HEAD UNTIL YOU LOST YOUR ABILITY TO THINK…” I yelled at him cause I am losing it too.

“You bitch open my hands you are nothing but a useless…”

“STOP… I SAID STOOOOPPPPP!!!!” I screamed on top of my lungs making him flinch on his actions. I said

“One more word and I will forget the laws which are binding me to do your killing in a proper way. The way you really deserve to die.”

“Oh really now a slut like you will show me how I should die. Your mother is also a slut. You and your family are just a beg.”


I started smashing his head with the stone in my hand. My eyes completely turned blank and all I see is red and blood his screams are all incoherent to me. I can’t able to feel anything. Like all, I can hear is just a beep sound as I completely got insane. I started pounding his head with the brick…

1 time

2 time

3 time 

4 time

5 time




Nth time. Until I lost counting I don’t even remember how many hours I kept repeating the smashing of his head. I guess until his head turned into a PULP.

Nandy’s Log

I am super bored today. Although it’s the anniversary of my parents. I still feel like nothing to do. I am not living with my family. I am currently living at my aunts home. Yeah… Due to quarantine 😔😔.

Things are going fine not good. I guess I am going to be homesick after a few days. I am reading the Webtoon “True Beauty” I read almost 26 chapters. And tbh I started reading it just 1.5hrs ago.

I guess my reading skills got improved. At this point of life I really don’t know or have any idea what to do with myself. I thought I will never have to worry about this kind of question❓ like I almost good at everything I put my effort into. That’s why it becomes more difficult for me to choose what I actually want to be…

Can you all suggest me any book or method to find out?

I love you all my purple💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

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